What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
