Are we in a gay sports bar?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
