dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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