the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
