How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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