if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
