I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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