I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
