Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize