Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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