Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
