So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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