my mouth tastes like poor choices
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
