Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
