So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
