I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize