How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
