Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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