There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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