i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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