Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize