Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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