i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize