We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
