My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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