That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
