Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
