mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
