There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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