I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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