I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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