i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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