they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
