It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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