I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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