Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
