I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
