oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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