i barfeds in our rink
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize