im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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