WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
