I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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