Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
