The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
