In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
