Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
