Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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