Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
