I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
