i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
