Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
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