FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
