I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
