what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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