Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
