You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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